given my follower count and the number of days in a year its way more than reasonable to assume that it’s one of your birthdays today
happy birthday whoever you are
Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts.
Everyone. I mean it.
THIS IS THE BEST POST
I HAVE EVER SEEN
they really do mean everyone
I found my roommate’s twitter…
wow i really got around on the second day of school
i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything
…I don’t even drink alcohol
i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music
i don’t even have her number????????????
oh, that’s cute Westboro Baptist Church.
you don’t want to disclose where your founders funeral is going to take place. why? because a funeral is a personal thing, a mourning period for families and friends? you’d hate to have people who are angered by your beliefs and your practices protest your funeral, wouldn’t you? (✿≖︿≖)
i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere
i’m pissing myself